Cameron looked down into the azure blue of the ocean beneath her. She remained as still as the rock on which she stood, overlooking the waters off Oahu. She was at Kaena Point, a place that the natives called ‘The Jumping Off Place” because they believed that this is where lost souls departed the island from. Fitting, she thought to herself. But as tempted as she was to throw herself into the blue abyss something held her back. She lifted her gaze to the blue of the sky and suddenly knew what it was. All this blue, she thought to herself…his eyes, his eyes were all around her. She knew instinctively that he wouldn’t want her to do this. Her knees buckled under her until she couldn’t stand anymore. She was overwhelmed with grief and longing. Of course her legs would give out on her, she thought to herself. Or was it something more?
He heard the whisper in his ear.
Wake up Gregory, wake up now…
The voice was commanding yet soothing. He opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. All around him was the color white. As white as the lab coat that he had always refused to wear. But he wasn’t in a room. And he wasn’t outdoors either. He was…nowhere.
Oh you are somewhere Greg. No one is never nowhere.
“Oh now we’re buddies so you’re calling me Greg?” he said out loud. What kind of crap is this?
House thought to himself. For once he was almost at a loss for words. Almost.
“First of all I don’t like white and secondly I don’t like playing hide and seek. Unless of course you are some gorgeous blonde getting ready to ravage me.”
“Come out come out wherever you are….” House spun around, “You aren’t playing fair.”
He stopped dead in his tracks. Two thoughts emerged nearly simultaneously; one was the fact that if he could stop that meant that he had been going which also meant that he had been walking and two, the dead part was more accurate than how he initially meant it. How many times did he tell patients and his own staff that there is nothing on the other side of death. The thought hit him so hard that if he had been breathing it would have taken his breath away. He sat down (on what he wasn’t sure) and ran his hands over his body. Yep, everything was intact, he was still him right down to the stubble on his face. He brought back the last memory he had. His crew was standing over him. He looked up at Cameron. She was crying. She held his hand and stroked his cheek and he had wished to hell that he could have felt it. They still hadn’t figured out what was wrong with him and he was totally helpless to lead them on the hunt. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, could barely even blink and then finally he couldn’t breathe. He saw Cameron place her hand on his chest feeling each labored breath he took. He knew that there was nothing left for them to do except watch his suffering. He wasn’t angry at them, he knew they had done everything they could do. He was beyond hope now. All encompassing panic took hold but he was unable to convey it except through his eyes. Cameron saw it, so did the rest as they stood helplessly by. His lungs, stiff and unmoving were not able to be filled by even artifical means. “No” he heard Cam sob as she returned his desperate gaze. His body was on fire with the pain of death. His lungsThey watched his chest become still and the EKG machine flatline. And finally his blue eyes closed forever.
We are sorry you had to suffer like that Greg. Let the memory go, you are home now.
“Home?” he muttered, “pardon me but this doesn’t look anything like my home”
Here, will this make you feel better?
At his feet was his cane. House almost laughed at the irony of it. He reached down and picked it up, felt it’s familiar weight in his hands and somehow it DID bring him comfort. He smiled.
‘Thank you” he found himself saying as he used it to lift himself to his feet. He felt remarkably well. So well in fact that he began to feel a touch of anger at not having felt this way in life.
“So a person has to die to feel alive?” he muttered to himself shaking his head in the process.
“Where am I anyway?” the thought was immediately met with a response.
You are were you always expected to be. This is your idea of the afterlife Greg. It is what you always expected to find.
“But there is nothing here!” he yelled out to his invisible companions.
The realization hit him hard. He understood what they meant. He didn’t believe in an afterlife so consequently there was no pearly gates, no tunnel of light, no ‘anything.’ Essentially he got exactly what he wanted.
TO BE CONTINUED